Platform Tennis News draws imitation

The Orange Lawn Tennis Club published a mock version of Platform Tennis News and PTN’s editor Brian Zevnik made a case for covering the human-interest side of the game.

“They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. In this case, it’s not just flattering. It’s funny. The Orange Lawn Tennis Club produced a mock PTN last year and sent me a copy. I wish all of my PTN copy were as ingenious and humorous as theirs. Of course, they also had a fake lingerie ad, which would certainly spice up these pages. But alas and alack, this is a family publication!

Anyway, I’m reprinting their lead story below. It’s amusing, and I’m sure even funnier for the club members who know the ‘participants’ well. The point is, we can always use such literary help here at the APTA’s ‘real’ publication. That’s why I’m always drumming up business for us – writers, contributors, idea people, even complainers. I’ll reiterate once again. We want to cover the human-interest side of platform tennis, not just the numbers and scores. Anyone out there listening?”

Davis/Peck Break Two-Year Undefeated String

After an amazing two-year stint, Bern Davis/Richard Peck of Orange Lawn Tennis Club were finally defeated in a match that will go down in the APTA history books. The combination of Davis’ big spin serves and Peck’s exceptional corner play almost prevailed, over the steady play of Jack/Bob Kleinert of Indian Trail Club. It was in the second set that Davis/Peck appeared to just pull away by taking a commanding 5-2 lead, after winning the first set 6-1. However, at the change of ends, something unforeseen happened. Davis noticed a string hanging from the back of Peck’s impeccably tailored sports outfit, whereupon he reached over to rid Peck of the unsightly thread and pulled at the bottom of Peck’s jacket. Ten minutes later, when Davis was still pulling at what appeared to be an endless thread, Kleinert/Kleinert opted to invoke the “Delay of Game” rule and called the match. Later, after Davis/Peck recovered from their defeat and had an opportunity to recapture the events of the match, they discovered that the unsightly thread was not a thread at all, but a 500 yard container of Richard Peck’s newest sample of Moo Shu Dental Floss. Needless to say, this agonizing defeat left Davis/Peck hungry for more action in the upcoming 1990 season. Peck has promised to leave his floss at home.

Source: Platform Tennis News, Fall 1990